Top Tips for Celebrants – 7
Focusing your thoughts in a ceremony so as to sound natural and spontaneous!
Recently I was asked by a celebrant about the danger of becoming stale because of over-rehearsing a ceremony. Obviously, rehearsing is necessary so that a celebrant is familiar with their scripts. I’ve spoken some of the presentation exercises I’ve written for celebrant-training purposes maybe 200 times. Clearly, after that amount of working with them, I’m aware of what I’ve written, but each time I speak a script, there’s no sense of staleness. It’s as if I’ve never seen the words before.
The celebrant asked me how that’s possible. I didn’t really have an answer, and I put it down to a lifetime’s experience. But since then, I’ve thought about it a lot, and I’m grateful that she asked me because not only do I now have an answer for, it’s also helped me a lot in my meditation practice – which I’ll cover in another blog.
When I speak written words, I think my way through them, which is what we do in life when expressing ourselves spontaneously. And that style works really well when speaking in public – whether reading or from memory. It’s a form of reflective speech. We’re usually in this mode when reading out loud and presenting ceremonies. In life, when speaking reflectively, we only have two choices: “What am I going to say next?” or “I know roughly what I’m going to say next – but what’s the best way of putting it?” So, we have to think before we speak. Sometimes the thought is very quick, other times not. Usually, in a script, I’ll mark every change or modification of thought so I know where those changes are. When I rehearse, I think about what’s next on the page in the same way that I would if I were speaking the words spontaneously.
The result is an interesting, varied and nuanced way of communicating that comes across much more effectively than “basic” reading aloud. Obviously, having spoken these scripts to myself or to someone else so many times, I know what’s coming next. So, how do I keep my focus on the words I’m about to speak, to the exclusion of the following ones? And how do I manage to appear spontaneous when I’m clearly reading something with which I’m familiar? Most people, including me, tend to live in a world of thought – either constantly reviewing the past, or being concerned about the future. We’re advised to live in the present moment, but most of us only pay lip service to that. There’s nothing wrong with learning from the past, or planning for the future (or working with thoughts in order to write a ceremony). But by living almost entirely in one or the other, or both, we miss out on the reality of the here and now. We’re living life once removed.
Through analysing how I manage to stay fresh when speaking oft-repeated scripts, I’ve realised how I keep what I’m going to say after each particular change of thought, separate from all the other words I’ll be speaking. My only focus is on the ones I’m about to say. I’m engrossed in them, they’re the only thing in my consciousness; it feels as if I’ve never seen them before, but they’re vaguely familiar. When I see them, I reflect on them, then speak them with the spontaneity of a new thought; but as soon as I’ve said them, they’re gone. They’re still on the page, but they no longer exist in my mind because I’m now engrossed in the next lot of words. These now fill my consciousness as I reflect on them. I speak them… and then they’re gone, too. The process starts again with the next words in the script. It’s rather like a light is being switched on and off as my attention is directed from one set of words to the next.
Once I’d worked out what actually happens when I use this method when reading a script, I realised that I can apply it in my daily life to thoughts I have about the past and future. An off switch! Now, rather than the thoughts controlling me, I have a method of controlling them. I’ll tell you about that in my next blog.
I hope you’re getting something worthwhile out of these tips. This is the 7th in the series, and there are more to come. Feel free to share the links. I work with people from many walks of life, and a particular favourite is to engage with celebrants and celebrants-in-training. If you’re thinking about one-on-one guidance about voice and communication, my details are below. I’m happy to have a half-hour Zoom or phone call with you, free of charge, to see if you’d like to do some work with me. And here’s a link to the first blog in the Top-Tips series. Top Tips For Celebrants -1 – Paul Robinson Voice Coaching
07469 957 199 (+44 7469 957 199)