Top Tips for Celebrants – 4

Published: 22 January 2025

(In these blogs, although I use the word celebrant, the information I share applies to anyone who’s presenting a ceremony of any kind.)

In Top Tips for Celebrants – 3, I suggested you record yourself reminiscing about a pleasant memory for a minute or two; and to imagine that you’re sharing this recollection with a friend. When you play it back, you’ll almost certainly find that you’ve instinctively found variety of the 3 Ps and V (Pace, Pitch, Pause and Volume). When you’re reasonably happy with the spontaneous sound you’re achieving in your reminiscence, write down about a minute of it. Edit out any ums and ahs. Then try and recreate it by recording yourself reading it, but with the feel of the spontaneity of the original. It’s a challenge! And what I’m about to suggest might seem awkward and cumbersome at first. But once the skills I’m sharing are mastered, they can raise your presentations to a high level.  

What you’ll be aiming for is, although you’ll clearly be reading your script, you won’t sound like you are. You’ll appear natural and spontaneous – as if the words are just occurring to you. That style of speaking is music to the listeners’ ears! Here goes:

Print your script. Mark every change or development of thought that you find in it. Speak your words slowly and deliberately at first. At each change of thought that you’ve marked, think about the words you’re about to say, and allow yourself the time and space to react to your words… then say them. Following that, it’s on to the next words you’re about to speak. Think about them, speak them… then on to the next change of thought, and so on. Working on a few lines at a time and recording yourself is a good idea until you’ve got the hang of it, then you can speak at what you consider to be the appropriate speed(s). The thinking process can vary from almost instant to whatever length feels right. Honour every change of thought. If you take shortcuts, you’ll start to sound like you’re reading – which takes away the feeling of spontaneity and the ear-pleasing variations. This is how I suggest you approach all ceremonies where reading is required.

Some potential clients?

Several people I’ve worked with have used the word alien to describe this process. It is, at first, but it’s closely related to the reminiscing exercise I suggested. Once you start to get the hang of thinking your way through your words rather than just reading them, the natural, spontaneous style will begin to unfold. In this way of working, you’re attempting to replicate what happens when we talk reflectively in life (which is how we generally communicate a ceremony). Speaking reflectively doesn’t mean it has to be slow. It’s just that we’re thinking before saying something (as opposed to reactive speech). We have two choices: “what am I going to say next?” Or, “I know roughly what I’m going to say, but what’s the best way of putting it?” The result is an interesting and attractive variety in the way we speak. By doing it the thinking/reflective way, it’s much more lifelike and spontaneous sounding than the technical “3 Ps-and-V way” – especially if the speaker reflects the varying ‘flavours’ and feelings of the words they’re speaking. By the time you’ve rehearsed your script a few times you’ll have accumulated a feast of possible ways of expressing your words.

I like a good feast!

The expectations of the listening ears will be met, and the celebrant’s (and any public speaker’s) game will be raised way above the ordinary. To summarise! Thinking your way through a ceremony can result in you achieving the natural, authentic variety that comes with spontaneous speech. This leads to the meaning of what you’ve written becoming crystal clear. The icing on the cake is when you allow any subtle feelings that may arise to be reflected in the way you deliver the words. This can result in an even stronger connection with the listeners.

Once this way of presenting is integrated and becomes second nature, it means that your usual bar will be so high that even if you’re having a bit of an off day – which can happen to anyone – your presentations will still be of a high standard. It takes you away from sounding like you’re reading.

Here are some words that I associate with thinking your way through a script as you present: Considering (what you’re going to say next, or how best to express it); Savouring/Relishing what you’re saying; Anticipating something in your script that’s got a different “flavour” to what you’re currently saying; Reflecting on what you’re about to say; Searching for a word or phrase. (If you do this too frequently, or in an exaggerated way, it becomes a mannerism); Speaking with the feeling that you’re Recalling what you’re about to say, rather than Reporting it – reporting sounds dry, mechanical and more like you’re reading.

Take me to your reader!

To reiterate: if you sound like you’re reading, to a greater or lesser degree, it detracts from any feeling of spontaneity, and comes across more like “here’s one I prepared earlier”.

And now the final word or phrase that I associate with thinking your way through a script: Oh… and another thing – where you have the sense that the additional words you’re about to say have just popped into your mind.

Next time, I’m going to dip into a bit of voice work from a couple of different angles; and I’ll mention nudging (yes!), completing the circuit, and presenting in the singular.

Nudge – Know what I mean!

I hope you’re getting something worthwhile out of these tips. This is the 4th in the series, and there are quite a few more to come. Feel free to share the links. I work with people from many walks of life, but my absolute favourite is to engage with celebrants and celebrants-in-training. If you’re thinking about one-on-one guidance about voice and communication, my details are below. And here’s a link to the first blog in the Top-Tips series: Top Tips For Celebrants -1 – Paul Robinson Voice Coaching And here’s one for the next in the series: Top Tips for Celebrants – 5 – Paul Robinson Voice Coaching

paulyrobinson@outlook.com

07469 957 199 (+44 7469 957 199)

Paul Robinson Voice Coaching – Voice Coaching